mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this boner is exhausting
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
