is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
