He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize