doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
