I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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