Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
