All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
