I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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