Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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