This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
