sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
