A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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