Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I forgot wine drunk hurts
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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