so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
