fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do vagina's smell?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
