yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
