Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
