you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
