so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
