they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
