we have pet lesbian snakes
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They are going to name an STD after you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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