Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
