I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
