"it" just moved
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
