So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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