Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
