i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You ruined the universe
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
