What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
