when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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