why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
