I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
