Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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