Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
