That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
