come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
