I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Found the puke drawer
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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