Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
