Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
