i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do herpes really smell.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
