Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
