One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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