if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
