yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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