New invention idea: vibrating tampons
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
