The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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