His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You took a bar mat shot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
