he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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