On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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