Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this will be a night to untag.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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