we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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