Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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(319): View more from Iowa

he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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(972): View more from Texas

Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

(636): View more from Missouri

Yup.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yup.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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(954): View more from Florida

Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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(954): View more from Florida

I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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(954): View more from Florida

“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“

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