it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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