thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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