can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
