if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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