It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
