I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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