I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
