YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
