There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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