Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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