dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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