she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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