would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
