I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
