Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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